


Heaven awaits

by JayAndJackLover



Series: Life without you [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:02:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayAndJackLover/pseuds/JayAndJackLover
Summary: The person you love so extremelyIs it better to lose them over a fight and never see them again.......But knowing they are out there.... but away from you...Or is it better to know that they loved you just as much but they are dead ...... And they are just gone... And you have to live on this world without them.....
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: Life without you [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023049
Comments: 10
Kudos: 33





	Heaven awaits

We lose people ... Every person that touches our lives, we lose them one way or the other...  
But the person you love so extremely..  
Is it better to lose them over a fight and never see them again.......But knowing they are out there.... Probably with someone else  
Or is it better to know that they loved me just as much but they are dead ...... And they are just gone..And you have to live on this world without them.....

Sam would often think about this... He lost Dean countless times...After that big fight with dad..He was so angry...He even left Dean.. He didn't realize he made Dean think he lost Sam that day..  
But they got back together...And what a ride they had..They both died, lost each other but they didn't stop fighting for each other... One would think they had gotten better at good byes.

But everytime it hurts the same... The difference this time was, every other time he got Dean back...This time he promised not to bring him back...  
Yeah it made sense..He knew Jack would make sure Dean was safe and he got everything he deserved... Sam could not be selfish to take the peace away from Dean... He had to live without Dean...

Always keep fighting... That's what Dean asked him to do.. He knew his brother often thought about leaving a legacy...Feared that he will be forgotten.. Sam wanted someone to remember Dean... He got out..He got a family.. A son... He wanted Dean to live on through his son... He would play and live and do everything that was expected of him...He would even smile because he promised.

But there would be moments Sam would just have trouble breathing because it was so painful.... It wasn't a nightmare... Or it wasn't that he would sit and go through every picture and memory of his brother..  
It would be in the most normal moments of living a life... Sometimes he would just call his son's name....And remember all the snarky remarks his brother would send his way whenever he would take his brother's name..  
Sometimes he would just normally tease his son about too much eating and immediately remember how he said the same thing to Dean so many times...

Sam would eat pie every now and then and he doesn't even like pie...Just to feel something.. 

And it will sometimes be so painful that he would just want to run to the crossroads  
Or just find something  
Or drown himself in drinking  
But then he would look at little Dean and think he had two Deans to live for...

So he would go..And sit inside the impala..Of course he would sit on his spot...The shotgun....And pretend to talk to his brother...  
Sometimes he would yell at Dean for leaving him....For making him go on alone...He would ask his brother, how he could do this to him...

The last time he could sit there was the day the doctor told him he was sick...He didn't have long...And he was getting worse by the day...  
He came back and sat inside the impala...But this time he sat on the driving seat...Touching the steering wheel exactly where Dean touched it all those years ago....

He closed his eyes and told Dean, he was coming to him soon... He couldn't wait to get back together again...

He got sicker after that and couldn't get up from bed...And everyday lying on that bed, he would talk to his brother..... talking about his son...How he made sure their legacy would go on...How Dean would be so proud of the boy his son Dean grew up to be...How he tried his best to remember everything Dean taught him and pass that on to his son..And how he couldn't wait to see him again...

And he would cry and pray silently to Jack...He will pray every single night to make it sooner.....He is ready...He fulfilled his promise..

Now he had his brother to get back to......His heaven awaits....


End file.
